Must A Aspiring Influencer Friend Stop Using People for Content?

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?